11 Mindsets for a Peaceful Heart & Holiday Season

A Spirit-led invitation to slow down, reconnect, and live from peace.

The shift from fall into the holidays can often feel like a rush — a push to do more, achieve more, and be more before the year ends. For years, I carried perfectionism, hurry, and self-suppression like heavy cloaks. Seasonal lows, feeling out of control, and scarcity thinking convinced me that peace was something I had to chase, and everyone around me felt it or observed it.

But over the past several years, God (and investing in some personal coaching) has been teaching me a different way: peace doesn’t come from fixing everything or meeting every expectation. It begins in the heart, in our nervous system, and in the small rhythms that invite our body, mind, and spirit to rest. It begins in gratitude — noticing the glimmers in everyday life and allowing our body to sink into them.

Fun little November fact: my birthday is November 11th, and to celebrate going into my 33rd year, I’m sharing 11 mindsets to carry into this season. These are the postures that have guided me — and many of the women I walk with — into calmer, more peaceful, and more present rhythms.

1. Peace Begins in the Heart, Not Fixing the External

"I don’t have to fix the chaos to be at peace. I can tend to what’s within me first."

My instinct has always been to fix: the messy kitchen, overflowing calendar, loud chaos. I would think, “What do I do to fix this mess?” Sometimes that meant rage cleaning or harshly disciplining before connecting. My nervous system detected threats in any chaos — spills, messes, kids pushing boundaries — and I would react.

Now I’m learning to pause, check in with myself, notice my heartbeat, and move into tending mode — observing my emotions, reminding myself, “This isn’t an emergency; they’re learning,” and noticing chest tightness as my body signaling what it needs. I can respond with care rather than control.

When I tend internally first, I respond with connection instead of control. From this regulated place, I notice multiple solutions — I’m not stuck in the mindset that I must fix everything immediately. Calm presence transforms chaos, and my confidence grows as I see new patterns forming.

2. Life Is More Nuanced than Black & White

"There are always layers beneath what I see. I can approach life with curiosity and compassion."

This survival response is necessary in the moment, but we don’t want to stay there. When my body detects my kids’ behaviors as threats, I used to see only red flags — either bad or urgent, needing immediate correction. Over time, I’ve learned to remind myself: they’re learning, this is healthy developmental behavior, and they need my regulation and guidance from my adult, regulated brain. Every person has a story, and behaviors often self-correct when emotional and practical needs are met.

Seeing multiple ways to guide, love, and respond allows me to pause before reacting, approach from empathy, and create solutions that serve both myself and my children. Witnessing growth, effort, and heart — in myself and in those around me — helps me remain grounded rather than focusing on mistakes or chaos.

3. Living in Slow Time Expands Time

"I don’t need to rush to be fully present; slowness allows me to meet life and myself with tenderness and attention."

I’m still practicing this one. Often, when I move hurriedly, it’s because I don’t want to face what I’m feeling. But when I slow down and meet those feelings, I can be tender and fully present with what’s right in front of me. Living in slow time is not about doing less; it’s about being more mentally there. When you fold laundry, just do the single task of folding laundry, and savor it! Or when you’re playing with your child, fully embrace the moment through all of your senses: noticing how the sun hits their hair, hearing their little voice and laughter, feeling their soft skin. There’s beauty to be held in the slowness.

When I stopped chasing hustle, I started living in peace. Cycle syncing has changed my life too. Tracking my natural rhythms has explained many of my responses that once felt like flaws and has allowed me to approach myself with grace, not guilt. I notice this again and again, and it is freeing.

4. When My Home Can Breathe, so Can I

"Clutter doesn’t just fill space — it drains my energy. Every object in my home is an opportunity to return energy to myself. I am not a store manager; I allow my home to exhale, and in turn, my body does too."

Every time frustration arises, the part of me wanting to “fix” takes over — wanting to throw everything I don’t like into the trash! Haha! I’ve learned that tending inward first is key, but my environment also matters.

Sometimes I even permit myself to rage clean — the movement helps me process emotions as I get the job done. Other times, I help myself emotionally first before thoughtfully decluttering — whatever feels needed in the moment. Simplifying in a regulated state, rather than reactive, keeps my nervous system calm and models healthy rhythms for my children.

Simplifying my home is a joy, not a hassle — gratitude grows as I care for the space that ultimately cares for me. Every object I release or organize is a small act of honoring myself, my family, and the rhythm of peace I want to cultivate.

5. A 'No' Now Makes a Stronger 'Yes' Later

"Pausing and honoring my limits allows me to commit fully and joyfully to what truly matters."

I’ve learned it’s crucial to ease into safety without forcing productivity. Saying no to certain commitments — whether stepping back from ministry, declining an extra responsibility, or pausing constant giving — allows me to explore where my true Yes’s can be offered with presence, energy, and joy.

I went through a season of pendulum swings — giving myself permission to rest, to fail, and to learn. I had to relearn that productivity is not the only measure of worth. My value comes from simply being, and there are seasons to create impact and seasons to solely let myself be nourished. What may appear like a winter "deadness" is really bringing nutrients to the parts that will sprout creativity, insight, and joy once again.

Pausing doesn’t mean stopping; it means choosing alignment. It means listening to my body, heart, and soul, and honoring what I need before giving outward. A thoughtful No now ensures that my Yes later comes from fullness, not depletion — and that Yes has the energy, presence, and joy it deserves.

6. I Trust Myself to Make Aligned Choices

"I am capable of trusting myself to make choices that honor who I am becoming."

Trusting myself has transformed everything — how I eat, when I exercise, how I rest, how I dress, and how I plan my days. Instead of following rules or external expectations, I ask: How would the confident version of myself do this? What would it look like to trust myself with food, with movement, with rest, with my time?

Eating becomes an act of nourishment, not punishment. I honor my body’s needs rather than shrinking myself with limitations. I dress intentionally for my future self, choose activities that align with my energy and values, and plan commitments that feel like a full yes. Trusting myself helps me operate from confidence and clarity, letting life and choices flow rather than forcing control.

Every decision — from meals to movement to how I show up for others — becomes an opportunity to practice self-trust, presence, and gratitude for my body, mind, and life.

7. Feeling Stuck Is an Invitation for Movement

"Movement helps me shift energy, calm my nervous system, and reconnect with life."

When I wake in a funk or feel trapped in racing thoughts, I remind myself that even one small movement is enough. A stretch, a walk, or a simple action can break the loop. Movement shifts energy, calms my nervous system, and allows emotions or thoughts to move through me.

Over time, I’ve noticed that movement not only helps me process feelings but also reconnects me to life, possibility, and gratitude. It’s less about “fixing” my day and more about expressing and releasing what’s inside, which naturally leads to clarity and calm.

8. My Schedule Serves Me, Not the Other Way Around

"My time is a tool to support my life, not a master that dictates it."

I used to plan my days by the minute, and it exhausted me. Breaking my day into intentional time blocks has been transformative. I rotate work, play, and rest depending on what feels needed that day.

• Play: I intentionally spend 15 minutes each day connecting with one child, fully present, and also doing some form of expressive play for myself — whether that’s playing an instrument, journaling, painting, or whatever feels like play in that moment.

• Work: I focus on a single productive goal scheduled to match my energy and capacity.

• Rest: I incorporate naps or quiet pauses, especially during my menstrual phase or when I notice fatigue building.

  
  

I remain flexible — sometimes play happens in the morning, rest in the afternoon, or focused work in the evening — depending on what my body, mind, and spirit need that day. This structure allows me to prioritize nourishment for my body, creativity for my mind, and connection for my heart.

It’s not about rigid schedules or perfection — it’s about flowing with the natural rhythms of the day and my energy. My children witness a mother who cares for herself and her home, modeling balance, presence, and self-respect. When I let my schedule serve me, I feel more capable, present, and peaceful. Instead of racing from task to task, I have space to notice gratitude, respond intentionally, and savor the moments that truly matter. It transforms my home from a place of chaos into a sanctuary where everyone can thrive.

9. Glimmers Lead to Gratitude

"Openness to the unexpected invites moments of joy and awareness."

There were seasons where everything felt like a trigger — red flags everywhere, constant threats, my body tight with tension, my nervous system on high alert. I reacted from survival, and gratitude felt impossible.

Over time, I learned to approach life with curiosity instead of judgment: noticing my body’s signals, observing tension, and asking, “What am I feeling? What does my system need?” This curiosity naturally opened me to glimmers — small, beautiful moments that bring delight and ease. The warmth of sunlight on the floor, a child’s laughter, the scent of fresh apples, or the feel of a soft blanket became invitations to presence.

Engaging all five senses in these moments — seeing, hearing, touching, tasting, and smelling — anchors me in life and teaches me gratitude. Glimmers are the opposite of triggers: instead of reacting in dysregulation, I expand into noticing what nourishes my mind, body, and spirit. This simple practice reminds me that even in ordinary days, joy and wonder are present when I pause, observe, and receive them.

10. Rest Increases Capacity & Productivity, Not Drains It

"Honoring my body’s need for rest nurtures presence, capacity, and joy."

Rest is sacred, and should not be optional. I’ve embraced naps, quiet pauses, and slowing down, especially during my menstrual phase or times of fatigue or emotional processing. Honoring my body’s signals is a way to regulate my nervous system, reset energy, and deepen presence with family and self.

Rest is not a drain on productivity — it expands my precious capacity. It’s an investment in joy, connection, creativity, and resilience. Children, family, and work all benefit when I’m rested, present, and grateful for my own well-being. Honoring my body’s responses and boundaries is essential. Our trauma often seeks external validation, but by recognizing how circumstances affect us and our body's responses, we can better understand our true desires versus others' expectations. Rest is a form of abundance. Honoring it nurtures self-trust, expands capacity, and deepens presence, creating a ripple of gratitude throughout your life.

11. Cyclical Living Aligns with Our Natural Design (For Women)

"Observing and flowing with nature’s cycles teaches us how to live in alignment with our own feminine design and embodiment."

I’ve learned my energy ebbs and flows with my cycle that changes multiple times each month: extra creativity in the follicular phase, extra social energy in ovulation, more productivity in the luteal phase, and more desire for rest and slowness during the menstrual phase. Planning work, social events, and chores around these rhythms has increased alignment in body, soul, and spirit.

Energy may ebb, but there are always multiple ways to be productive, connected, and creative. Flowing with our cycles helps us operate in our God-given natural femininity, where we are aligned with our design — and where we are aligned, we thrive. I don’t have to force one rigid plan; following my cycles leads to more alignment, joy, and gratitude for the woman I’m becoming.

A Gentle Invitation

Peace is cultivated, not earned. Presence, cyclical living, curiosity, and self-trust transform how you experience yourself, your home, and your family. Gratitude grows when we notice the small glimmers — the gifts of light, love, and life — and allow them to anchor us.

If your heart is longing for more peace and presence this season, the Family Fall Guide was created to help you put these mindsets into practice. It’s filled with gentle rhythms, reflection prompts, and nervous system resets — the same practices that shaped my healing journey and continue to nurture me today.

May this season be one where you enter not from pressure, but from a heart aligned with peace, presence, and possibility.